Thursday, May 16, 2013

1 Minute 50 Seconds of Fame

The segment on Diane Sawyer's World News show unexpectedly aired last night. We received notification only hours in advance. John Quinones and Sarah Netter spent two full days with us and Paul & Jan Cottage shooting hours of footage, so we were anxious to see how the final piece was edited.

We were pleased that the focus was generally on expats moving abroad with Cuenca basically serving as a backdrop for the story. An interesting statistic quoted was that almost 350,000 Americans are receiving their Social Security payments in another country. Since I and most everyone I know have payments deposited in a US bank account the true number of expats must be staggering.

And growing.

It was fun to see a family photo we furnished the network showing up.



One minute and fifty seconds later, it was over. All in all I think the story was well done and we were honored to be asked to participate.

Here's the link to the segment plus an accompanying article:

American retirees stretch their dollars in Ecuador








Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Arch Nemesis?

When Cynthia and I were going by bus to the beaches of Montanita sometime ago, we arrived at the terminal in Guayaquil early enough to have lunch before departing. Looking around the food court we observed the usual variations of grilled meats, rice, and beans found in our malls here in Cuenca.

Then we spotted something unexpected—a McDonald’s! We rarely ate traditional fast food when we lived in the States and in three years have never had a Whopper at the Burger King near our home . But as often happens when you’re on vacation, we said, “What the hell, we’re on vacation!” and wolfed down Quarter Pounders, fries, and Cokes.

We enjoyed our guilty pleasure so much that we ordered an encore meal with Big Mac’s when we got back before returning home. These two little episodes formed the bookends of a memorable getaway.

I share this story as a backdrop to the announcement that Cuenca’s very first McDonald’s is being built down the street from our neighborhood Supermaxi. Since our city is already home to the aforementioned Burger King plus KFC, Papa John’s, Pizza Hut, and Subway this occurrence was inevitable and, from a competitive viewpoint, arguably overdue.

But the forums are abuzz with predictable histrionics ranging in emotion from sad to disappointed to hysterical. Without knowing the subject matter you would think the Death Star was spotted hovering over the Cajas.

Many are lamenting this invasion of American “poison” into the Ecuadorian culture. Some even think the government should “do something” to keep franchises out or at least severely tax their products to discourage consumption.

Here is a sampling of other vitriolic quotes:

“Monsters!”

“Horrors!”

“Filth!”

“Tragic!”

“Let’s boycott!”

Really? Come on, people, get a grip.

I have to wonder when some of the commenters last actually ate at a McDonald’s. The 60’s? Because the menu has certainly evolved from the early days of burgers and fries.

For instance, Cynthia and I took advantage of a 2-for-1 coupon while in North Carolina a couple of weeks ago visiting family to try McDonald’s new Premium McWrap. The one we ordered was a large flour tortilla filled with chicken and super fresh vegetables. It was healthy, delicious, and a bargain at the retail price of $3.99 (and an absolute steal at $2 each).

Breakfast choices now include a McMuffin with egg whites, oatmeal, and a fruit ‘n yogurt parfait. For lunch or dinner you can order grilled chicken and a variety of salads in addition to the wraps.

Of course the burgers, fries, soft drinks, and shakes dominate the menu. But the good news is that in any restaurant the patrons get to pick what they want to eat.

There’s a fancy restaurant in town called Tiesto’s. The specialty there is a steaming pot of yummy meat or seafood swimming in a decadent sauce. The food is undeniably delicious, but each time I’ve eaten there I’ve not been able to sleep because of the richness of all the butter and cream.

So I’ve decided that I won’t eat there anymore. The pain simply isn’t worth the gain.

Others I’ve spoken to have mentioned a similar experience, but I haven’t noticed a clamoring for Juan Carlos to clean up his act and start offering healthy alternatives. The truth is you can order a healthy meal or a calorie-busting feast almost anywhere you go. Or, if no such choices are available, you can choose as I have with Tiesto’s to not dine there.

I see vendors set up outside schools selling salchipapas (little weenies and French fries) and all manner of candies. I notice people walking down the street every day munching on a bag of chips. Could they be nibbling on an apple instead? Of course. But they didn’t want an apple, did they?

The real issue is not about McDonald’s coming to Cuenca. It’s about individual freedom. You don’t want to eat at McDonald’s? Then don’t. But how is it your business to tell other people what they can do?

Any notion of government involvement is pure poppycock. I appreciate much about American life, but our government’s overzealous attempts to protect its citizens from themselves is not one of them. A most refreshing aspect of Ecuadorian culture is the emphasis on personal responsibility. You never see a TV commercial here with those pathetic personal injury attorneys who promise to “get you the money you deserve.”

Imagine you are at Parque Calderon observing one of the countless fireworks displays. An errant rocket strikes you and you go to court seeking damages. I can envision the judge saying something like this: “Guess you were standing too close. Next case.”

Some folks not yet living in Ecuador state that McDonald’s coming to Cuenca is causing them to rethink their plans. Let me help you out. Even having a thought about a fast food chain being a potential deal breaker is a clear indicator that you will be miserable here. Don’t come.

Method acting always asks, “What’s the character’s motivation?” Perhaps some of our self righteous do-gooders should ask themselves the same question.

A pretty famous guy said, “If you would save the world, first save yourself.” So beyond your personal decision to avoid eating at McDonald’s, is not any further action an attempt to impose your “superior” value system on others?

Ecuadorians are perfectly capable of managing their lives and making their own decisions without our assistance. The bigger problem than McDonald’s arrival is the arrogance of individuals who barge in without an invitation trying to fix everything because of their need to be “right.”

Can we please bag the superiority complexes and remember that we are honored guests in this country?

Please?

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Primetime

Well, this has certainly been an interesting week. Cynthia & I spent Monday and Tuesday with John Quinones and his producer Sarah Netter from Diane Sawyer's ABC Primetime News. They came here to interview us and another couple, Paul & Jan Cottage, about our decision to move abroad.

They spoke with the Cottage's Monday morning, then we all met for lunch downtown.



In the afternoon we showed them around the city. Tuesday morning they met Cuenca's mayor and did some other filming in El Centro, and in the afternoon they interviewed us in our casa. We finished our time together with a rousing Gringo Night at DiBacco.

The segment will probably air sometime in late May or early June. I'll keep you posted.

PS. We head for the States tomorrow to see our family. A highlight will definitely be meeting our new 3 month old grandson Aaron in person for the first time. We're pumped!!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

I’ve Gotta Get Out More

OK, I admit it---I don’t know what’s going on around here most of the time. I’m probably not that different from you. I enjoy hanging out around the house whenever I can and therefore am unaware of everything that’s going on in the city.

Yet it seems every time I wander around Cuenca, day or night, I run into events and activities that make me ask myself, “What else am I missing?”

Yesterday was a perfect example. Every Saturday morning I walk to the gym. My route includes a steep hill as I enter the historic area. At the bottom I can’t help but notice that the road is blocked off and cops are standing around.

H-m-m-m-----what’s going on today?

I see a crowd at the top and I hear music playing. Must be yet another street festival—those happen so often here you don’t even think about it.

Nope, today’s gathering is for something a bit more unusual—a soapbox derby race.

Really? They still have those?

Indeed they do. I Googled the subject and learned that the 75th annual race is being held this July in Akron, Ohio (of course it’s called the “All American Soap Box Derby” in the US—Central and South America apparently don’t count).

Well, that was an unusual start to the day. I finished my workout then meandered downtown running a few errands. Just as I passed by the new cathedral a zillion indigenous people came pouring out. I swear it was like kicking a gigantic ant hill, and I suddenly found myself engulfed in a sea of humanity.

Picture the scene: A 6’3” guy in gym clothes with a shaved head, earring, backwards black baseball cap, & John Lennon sunglasses is standing on the middle of the sidewalk. He is surrounded by hundreds of swarming little bitty brown people. The ladies are wearing their colorful long skirts, and on every head (except mine) is a snow white Panama hat—none that rise higher than his nipples.

It was a scene right out of Gulliver’s Travels or the Wizard of Oz. I would love to see a photo.

After freeing myself by inching through the throng I bumped into a Cuencana friend of mine minutes later. I described what had just happened and said, “You’ve lived here your whole life. What was that all about?”

Her reply: “I have no idea. Something religious?”

Do ya think??

It’s not even lunchtime yet. As I’m heading out of town to the Supermaxi I pass a lady on the sidewalk. She’s dressed as a white bird. Real feathers and everything. I look around for the parade—for her companion—for something. Nope—just a lady walking down the sidewalk dressed as a bird. Sometimes you just don’t know what to think---------.

There’s a small park near our home. Other buildings block our view, but three nights a week we certainly hear it. That’s because some guy with a loud microphone and louder music holds aerobic classes there from 8 until 10 on the concrete basketball court (which is never used for basketball, by the way).

On our way to a party last evening our taxi goes by the park and a volleyball tournament in progress. Temporary stands have been erected, people and balloons are everywhere—it’s a party!

A couple of hundred yards away, but who knew??

Now we’re back from the party, it’s 11 o’clock and I’m turning out the lights. At the end of our street a fireworks extravaganza erupts (Why? No idea---), so I stand in the dark for 10 minutes watching “the rockets’ red glare” and “the bombs bursting in air” out the window.

Quite an emphatic exclamation point on an eventful day in Ecuador. I’ve been inside all day—wonder what I’m missing today?

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

No Vacancy

There was an interesting article last week in Cuenca High Life, a local online publication. It seems that several real estate developers are refusing to sell units in their new condominium projects to gringos.

"What?" you might ask. "Don't Ecuadorians think we're all wealthy? How can this be possible?"

Well, mostly because we're a pain in the ass. Not all of us, of course. The article states that too many foreigners have been overly rude and demanding, prompting developers to sell only to locals.

I was quite happy to read this because it's a great message about who's really in charge here. We expats are guests in this country and should always behave accordingly. These knuckleheads who move here with the expectation of finding, or creating for themselves, a "cheap America" and constantly complain about people not speaking English (in Ecuador!) and everything else that doesn't suit them need to be taught a lesson.

And there's no better classroom than one's wallet.

Foreigners are often falsely blamed for rising prices in real estate because we are an obvious presence. Sales to expats are only a tiny percentage of the overall market, so these developers have decided that their profits will not be adversely affected by their decision. In fact, because Cuencanos are more accommodating, their bottom lines will increase. Since Ecuador (thankfully) doesn't have myriad laws, rules, and regulations protecting everyone from everything like the US, these businessmen can simply say that their projects are "sold out" without fear of retribution.

My advice is blunt:

If you're not excited about relocating to Ecuador, please don't come. If you're in Ecuador and not happy, please leave!



Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Way We Were

Our first year in Cuenca Cynthia and I were what I've termed "social monsters." It seemed we were at a Gringo Night, dinner party, or other gathering almost daily. Sometimes multiple events crowded our schedule, and none of them involved punch and cookies, if you know what I mean.

This was all great fun because in our previous world we never gave ourselves permission for much of a social life. Busy careers filled our weeks, and weekends revolved around chores and errands. We were like kids in a candy store, voraciously gobbling up every invitation that came our way or having folks over to our home.

But just as over-consuming candy is eventually bad for your system, so too the nights of falling into bed at all hours began to take their toll. Trips back to the States gave us a break plus a chance to evaluate our activities, and we decided we needed to scale back our social calendar.

We just couldn't hang any more.

So upon each return to Cuenca we backed off the throttle more and more until we settled into a healthier and more comfortable balance. In fact compared to our earlier days we became downright boring.

Out of nowhere all that changed. Shortly after Cynthia got back from a visit with our family in New Jersey earlier this month a steady stream of invitations started gushing in. Literally every day and/or night for the past two weeks we've been out there once again. Birthdays--open houses--dinner parties--symphony performances. Two days ago we had a "two-fer"--lunch with some blog friends who are in town, then a jazz concert at a local restaurant that night.

We were supposed to go on a all day outing to a botanical garden yesterday. I almost cheered out loud when I received a last-minute email announcing the trip had been cancelled. We got to sleep in and loaf around the house all day recuperating. There was another symphony concert last night but we put on pajamas and watched a movie instead.

I hope that one day of rest was enough, because tonight there's another birthday party. Tomorrow we're going to a barbeque. Tuesday it's a going away party for friends. Wednesday the Chamber of Commerce is hosting an outing. Thursday we're attending a benefit for a cancer hospice.

After that the calendar is amazingly open. But it's only Saturday-----.

Of course we could turn some of these opportunities down, but every single thing involves people and events we truly enjoy. At least temporarily the "monsters" are once more on the loose, and I must admit it's been an absolute blast.

When we got off the plane here in Cuenca three years ago we had no idea what our new life would be like. Suffice it to say on virtually every level we've been ecstatically surprised and pleased.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Crossed Wires

Yesterday morning my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number of the caller.

"Hello?"

"Yes, this is Joyce. I was wondering if you'll available next Friday morning. I'm moving Bill to an assisted living facility outside of Cuenca. I need help breaking down the bed and taking it there, and then another bed needs to be brought back here. I'm willing to pay $100."

"Um, the $100 sounds good, but who is this again?"

Pause.

"Is this Oscar?"

"No, this is Edd. I don't know Oscar, and I don't believe I know you either."

"Oh, sorry. Cancel the call."

Later in the afternoon I went to the home of some good friends for dinner. I knocked on the door, and when it opened, Trish greeted me with a big smile.

And at the same time seemed to be shooting me a bird with her middle finger.

I was confused with these mixed signals and commented on her odd welcome. It turned out she had moments before cut her finger and was holding it up to stop the bleeding.

So in the same day a stranger treated me like a friend, and a friend treated me like a stranger.