Behind the Green Button

Recently I made perhaps my most shocking discovery since moving to Ecuador. When one relocates to a different country and culture the learning curve is almost perpendicular, and every day is filled with new revelations. So you know this one had to be a “biggie.”

I’m over at a friend’s place and bitching about having had to watch the Oscars telecast in Spanish. With a lot of live broadcasts here the shows are actually in English but someone loudly voices over in Spanish so you can’t really hear what’s being said.

She says, “I watched it in English.”

I said, “How in the hell did you do that?”

She says, “Don’t you know about the green button?”

I said, “What green button?”

“The one on the remote. When you push it you get a choice of English or Spanish.”

“W-h-h-a-a-a-t-t-t???? How did you know that???”

“Didn’t you read your instruction manual? I’m sure it’s in there.”

“Of course I didn’t read the damn instruction manual. It’s as thick as a magazine---and it’s in Spanish. I can’t get through a Jorge Curiosa book yet.”

“Well, actually I didn’t read it there either. A Cuencano friend’s kid told me about it , I think.”

So there it was. The Green Button. The master key that could potentially unlock a whole new world of understanding. Something this important from now on deserved to be spelled with Capital Letters.

As soon as I got home I turned the TV on to the same channel I had watched the Oscars. An old movie was playing---in Spanish. I pushed the Green Button, and sonofabitch, it switched to English. You know what I did next—the same thing you would have done if you were sitting in my living room with the remote in your hand.

I went through every single channel and pushed that Green Button every single time, that’s what I did. No, it didn’t always work—National Geographic Wild stayed in Espanol while the regular National Geographic cooperated, as an example. But I’d say I now have at least 20 more viewing choices than before in English.

Hey, we’re not even big TV people. Many folks find us odd because in nearly 40 years of marriage we’ve never once had a television in our bedroom. In fact we haven’t even watched one program since this discovery. But just the knowledge that you can is empowering, isn’t it?

Cuenca readers, I’m interested to know if I’ve just revealed something to you or if Cynthia and I have been walking around town alone with our “Stupid” signs on. This is for DirectTV only, by the way.

March Madness is going to be a lot more enjoyable than I’d anticipated, that’s for sure. Now bring on the Food Network and I’m set!