ABOUT FACE (BOOK)

Awhile back my daughter told me I should get a Facebook page. Facebook? I’m, like, um--------OK?.?. So I set one up and it’s kinda fun, right? I’ve gotten in touch with a few MIA folks and generally enjoy the comments & photos people share.

But in other ways social networking’s not working for me. I can’t help but notice that some members seem to treat this site as a play-by-play commentary on their not-so-interesting life. Seriously, I don’t really care that you woke up with a bloody booger in your nose (TMI), that you’re constipated (WAY TMI), that you’re tired (who isn’t?), or that you’re making chili for dinner (although that may solve the constipation problem).

What in the hell has happened that people openly want to share not just with me, but the whole world, the most mundane details of their existence? Would you ever pick up the phone, call someone, and say, “I’m home from the cleaners.”? God, if you do I pray it’s not me on the other end of the connection. I’d rather talk to a telemarketer.

As best as I can figure, this phenomenon parallels the behavior of folks in their cars. Someone will blatantly cut in front of you right before an exit ramp on the freeway, but they would NEVER do that with their shopping cart in the supermarket checkout line (shoutout to Adrian—I know you’re saying, “In Germany, oh yes they would!.” But interestingly there they wouldn’t do it with their cars, so it’s true in reverse, right?). Drivers act like—and admit it, you may be one of them—sometimes I am, “I’m invisible and anonymous---and I didn’t really do that just now; it’s this damn car!! Chevy Cobalt’s are so aggressive!!.”

Car—keyboard—same thing—it’s not really the in-the-flesh you, you’re instead this vaguely disembodied being who is somehow empowered to behave differently than you would in person. Maniacal drivers are a threat to themselves and everyone around them; with these social networks there’s certainly no harm in people announcing to all their every mood and activity. I’m just curious why they think anybody really wants to know.

“I just shot a wildebeest in my backyard”—now that’s worth reporting.

“I found a cure for cancer and I’m not telling”—you’re an asshole but, wow, I’m impressed.

“I just figured my outfit out!” (I looking at that live post right now)—not so much.

Well, I need to go to the bathroom and I’m sore today and it’s time to start dinner and I can’t wait to watch the Grammies and I’ve got to go put together an outfit. Till next time, keep posting and hope we’re still BFF!