Why is it that everybody slows down on the freeway when a cop has pulled someone over and his lights are flashing? Wake up, people---he’s busy! If there was ever a time to step on the gas and get a little crazy, it’s now. Do you really think he’s going to leave the other guy on the side of the road, jump back in his patrol car and come after you? Drop the Pavlovian response and take at least a stroll on the wild side.
There’s a sign on the door of the post office that says, “No pets allowed. Seeing-eye dogs only.” Leave it to our government to create a written message specifically for the only people who can’t read it.
Really smart people sent astronauts to the moon. They can put all the words in the Library of Congress on the head of a pin. So why hasn’t anybody ever been able to come up with a better way to get a damn milk carton open? Nothing has changed since I was getting those little containers in the cafeteria in elementary school. It takes a crowbar and chisel to get the stupid things open, and the triangular spout ends up mutilated beyond recognition. The best idea anyone can think of is to put a hole in the side of the top with a cap on it? That’s how prisoners break out of jail, for godsakes; we’ve gotta be able to do better than that.
Any oddities you’d like to share?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
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5 comments:
Hey, Edd. Andrew here. Friend of Brandon's. Been following the blog at his recommendation. I guess this is this blog equivalent of "long time listener, first time caller"... Anyway, thought you'd like this article about the huge changes to milk bottles.
Oh, brother. Well, like Kermit said, "It's not easy being green." (Sigh) This isn't the change we've been waiting for. Thanks for the downdate.
your post office sign has a Steven Wright quality to it...
"I bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included...so I had to buy 'em again."
One of my favorite phrases is "legally blind". Come on...can you be "illegally blind"??
We got one of those milk cartons here in Seattle- they suck! I spilled milk all over the place. I thought it would get better as the level in the milk went down, but it didn't until there was only about a 1/3 left.
plus, there is this not so awesome mental feeling that you're drinking milk from a container that used to be used to carry gas.
I found your blog while "taking a look" at Cuenca. After I'd read a few of your posts, I decided to start from the bottom up. Ergo the comment on this post from 2009.
Here's one of my favorites; a bumper sticker that reads "Illiterate? Call 212-555-1212 and learn to read.
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